My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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