Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
