people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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