super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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