Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
