The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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