Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
