If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
