You're completely useless in the revolution.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize