We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
