it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
