so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
