this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
