just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
