it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
