You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
