i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
