Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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