see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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