im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
