have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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