I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
