But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
