return my video game
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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