Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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