im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
