y did u give ur computer a hand job?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
oh god was she eating orange peels again
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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