marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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