Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
