you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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