Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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