Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
