I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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