They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
