So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
