You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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