Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Randomize
