Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
