If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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