Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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