she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
