My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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