Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
There r osticjed everywhere
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
