its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
