Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
