I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
