how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
