I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
