Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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