she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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