maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
