it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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