We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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