I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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