My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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