Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
