I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize