I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
