i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
