let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
