Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
